The Wandering Butterfly

Introduction

Hello and welcome! My name is Sheridan Rolengate, and I live in Louisiana with my spouse of 12 years and our two 11 year old cats, Beethoven and Elise. I am a freelance artist who has been making art for over 25 years. I enjoy all kinds of music, movies, television shows and food! I also enjoy video games, especially shooter games with all kinds of mystery and puzzles to solve. And believe it or not, my spouse and I actually met on a video game!

Immediately after moving down to Louisiana, my spouse and I got married. When we first got married, everything seemed a little okay, but my health made a bad turn for the worse quite quickly. Thankfully, my spouse stayed by my side, and as a decade passed by, things finally began to turn around some.

It took quite some time to get a good handful of diagnoses, actually.

That decade was quite a bumpy ride. Some people unfriended me because I wasn’t the greatest person to be around, but it wasn’t entirely my fault and I’ll definitely explain on a separate page in more detail of what I have endured.

Despite all the bad that happened, there was also good that came out of everything. I met a lot of wonderful people throughout my wild health journey, especially many who have the same or similar diagnoses. I made new and understanding friends, thanks to support groups and those who are in the same fandom as me. And during that chaotic journey, I actually found out more about myself than what I knew, and life is better now than it has ever been!

I do want to point out, however, that I also failed at a bit of things. Some of my failures have been heartbreaking and embarrassing, but I believe they played a part in what made me a better person.

Now, with all that had taken place throughout my life and up until now, at one point I began to write a journal about all the crazy stuff I have been through. Then, I thought about writing it into a book. In fact, I had started doing so, at one point. Finally, I figured I’ll just blog about it and see what happens!

With the whole book thing though, I really wasn’t sure where to start. I kept wondering if I should start at the actual beginning, or if I should start from the other beginning. The other beginning is where I left everything behind and started a new life, which actually happened twice. Or maybe I only started a new life once, and it was just a bumpy start. I didn’t know then, and I really don’t know now. So, call it whatever you want! Just know, this was a huge issue for me in trying to write everything out. All the chapter swapping and what not. What a headache!

And for your information, I contemplated not even doing any of these things quite a few times, too.

I’ll just start with these facts, though. As I got older, I would ask myself even more so, “God, why me? What did I do to deserve all of this?” And I swore up and down that I was born on the wrong planet and especially into the wrong “family.” 

I am very sure I’m not the only one who has felt the same way!

Then, no matter how hard I would try socializing with most people, I often would fail at it. It seemed like most people hated me. Nearly everyone would get mad at me and correct me in some kind of way, but in such a pretty harsh, negative way too. I might as well have been a dog that had urinated in the house on the floor. 

While all of the above happened a lot, when I was a kid, I became more frustrated and short tempered both at myself and other people. Some of this was also learned behavior from my, then, environment. So, as you can imagine, another fact about me here, I have issues with becoming easily anxious and irritated. I’ve gotten better with some counseling sessions and me actually putting in the effort to make a change in myself, but also having a change in my environment and health has also been a big factor in helping me reduce my anxiety and irritability, as well my issues with depressions!

Staying to myself helps a lot, too.

I would often, as a kid and still do to this day, go off to someplace on my own just to be by myself. Being alone is, and has always been, so much easier than dealing with all the, what I like to call, nonsense. Well, if anything, that’s the best way I have been able to deal with the nonsense, is by removing myself from the issue so that I can handle myself and make sense of everything, cool down, and actually make plans of any kind; plans on how to respond with what may have happened and whatever else.

And since we’re talking about nonsense and how I walk away from many things that drive me up the wall, I might as well mention meltdowns. I guess that’s what I’ve been mostly describing. I have meltdowns. I’m on the autism spectrum. I guess that’s a no brainer. I have a few tricks up my sleeve on how to combat meltdowns now versus how I dealt with them as a kid, safe strategies too, and I’ll talk about those on another page.

After all, I’m supposed to just be giving everyone an introduction and the basics about me, right now. Right?!

Basically, here’s a shorter version of me introducing myself, but it’s probably still not thorough enough. Of course, that’s my opinion. I’ve learned over the years, thanks to some nice and not so nice people, that if you get me going, I tend to chat way too much.

Anyways, I’m this “80’s baby” chick who is still a child at heart, but half of the time I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. I physically feel older than my actual age. I’m open-minded, quirky, nice, kind and caring, but I have issues with anxiety and being short tempered. I always felt that I was average, when it comes to intelligence, but I have some special interests; I’m pretty nerdy/super intelligent with those interests. While attending college though, most classmates and professors told me I was really smart. I could use fancier terms, because some of them did, but whatever the case, I guess I have a decent functioning brain. Sometimes, I’d argue about that one, though.

I’m damaged in many ways, probably more than your average person, but I’m unable to actually do a global census for comparison. I absolutely love to sing, eat food, and I love watching comedies. I don’t smoke anything, I no longer drink alcohol and never really did much. My health issues pretty much don’t permit me into putting anything of the sort into my body anyways, in fact many things into my body, or other things on my body. When I say things on my body, I mean products, tattoos, even natural stuff like the sun sometimes.

Yes, sometimes I break out to the sun. Again, I’ll seriously explain all these things in other posts.

To some, I probably sound like a boring prude. I’ve actually had others state so and also say that my life sounds horrible, especially when food comes into the picture.

Anyways, I’m usually at my house making art, cooking or cleaning, and sometimes I’ll walk a small track in town, go to church with my spouse and his parents, or I’ll go food shopping. Most of my time spent, though, is in my safe and cozy home! Of course, sometimes I like to chill outside on the deck that my spouse and I made.

Whew! I feel like I just typed up a summary to add on a dating site!

So, as you can tell, I’m a hot mess! I’m actually laughing as I type this out. But really, living with my health issues can be quite ridiculous sometimes, but I’m also used to it now. So, no worries!

Well now, I hope this introduction is satisfactory. I did my best!

As I am coming to an end with this page post, though, I do want to point out that if you have not read the ‘About the Author’ section yet, then I’ll let you in on what my ambition is in making this blog.

Basically, I want to share my life story because I know there are many others like myself, even if they are not on the autism spectrum.

I am hoping that this blog will help motivate and inspire others in their personal journey, but I also want to be involved in helping others understand what autism spectrum disorder can be like for many of us, and I want to help reduce the stigma of autism spectrum disorder, mental illness and more.

Until next time! ❤


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